I checked to see if Mercury Was in Retrograde Again…

As it turns out, it was not. Imagine that. I’ll tell you what, I’ll imagine that its possible to experience the effects of a thing, before the thing happens because for me, in this moment, everything is in disarray. The department of health and human services for the county if San Diego abruptly discontinued my benefits of Calfresh and Calworks. And without a job,without childcare and without a significant other or a partner, or even another cooperative, responsible parent in mutual partnership, to share this responsibility of child rearing with.I’m afraid without welfare the spectacle of well being looks grim. That is why I’m starting this blog today. I need a platform to somehow document the chaos of the deflated liberties of my current circumstances. And thank God, this platform enables you to say something for free.I really have good ideas and big plans, but in 28 years old and I’m afraid I feel behind.I cried today,I straight up broke down. I told my uncle, “I think I need meds”. I said that I couldn’t see ” the bright side” and basically I’d lost all desire to be apart of society at all anymore. I told him I was seriously thinking of moving to the village. I’m not sure what I’ll become without welfare. But to be plain, it wasn’t working for me a this anyways. Quite a shame really, the frivolous function of the social welfare system is defunkt and in need of serious reform.But so is my mind. I had a serious thought today.I asked myself, how do I think positive? Its 10:04 pm, I need to wake up early tomorrow. I’m sick and also, I’d like to cry…